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Part 3: M is for Mission

30 August 2013

30 August 2013

Part 3: M is for Mission

As the sun began to burn away the morning mist, the Cyborg found himself cleaned up and sitting in M’s office.

“You know, 00D, I’d be happy to join you for some of those training runs.” started M, “At least I could protect you from kangaroos.”

“Thanks for the offer M, I’ll bear it in mind next time you’re tucked up nice and warm in the morning and I’m heading out into the cold. But I’m sure we have more important things to talk about.”

“We do indeed, 00D. Here,” he said as he passed a photocopy of what looked like a doodle on a napkin across the table, “What do you make of this?”

00D took a long look at the picture; it was a pretty crude sketch of stick figures on what looked to be spin bikes, hooked up to a transformer.

Plans drawn on a napkin

“It looks like some sort of weird spin class, where the participants are hooked up to electricity to shock them if they should slack off.”

“I like the way you think, 00D,” countered M, “but I’m afraid it’s quite the reverse. You see, that was drawn by Mr Green. It’s a continuation of his scheme to provide cheap energy. Those bikes are actually generators, which are hooked up to transformers, to feed power back into the grid, or batteries, or whatever.”

“What a great idea! Though, I dare say they wouldn’t even raise enough power to run the air-conditioning required to stop everyone from collapsing of heat exhaustion.”

“Not so fast, 00D. There’s more. You see, we have an operative undercover in the 2602s; it was he who retrieved this napkin, after spying Mr Green and the Beard enjoying some bakery snacks. Now, can you imagine the trouble if those two team up?”

The Cyborg considered this for a moment, “Oh, you mean, if Mr Green makes such a facility, and then populates it with people from the Cult of Singlespeed? They may actually have a decent crack at generating power.”

“Decent crack, 00D? Can you imagine? These are people who ride up and down the same hill for 24 hours or so, just to see how many laps they can do. This isn’t some little wind power scheme, these people could potentially put a significant dent electricity usage!”

“But, isn’t that a good thing?” queried the Cyborg, who never quite got why it was a bad thing in the first place, “Reducing our reliance on fossil fuels and all that?”

“Of course it’s not a good thing! This is no dinky solar scheme; these people could power multiple homes! And could you imagine if word got out about it?”

“We’d have a solution to obesity and global warming?”

“There’d be more than one primary electricity generator in the region! There’d be real competition in the industry; prices will fall, profits will crumble, and you know what happens then?”

“We have cheap power? I mean, wasn’t competition the whole idea behind privatising all the power generators?” it seemed the logical answer to 00D, but he already knew M disagreed.

“No, less profits means electricity executives would fail to achieve their bonuses; that rightful extra part of their salary! They count on that money. They need that money! Do you think south coast houses pay for themselves? These boutique providers would be stealing the bread from the executive table. And don’t think that won’t have flow-on effects?”

00D knew when to give up, so moved onto more pertinent ground: ”So, do you want me to stop them? ’Cause that probably means I’d have to catch them first, and I don’t know if I can do that.”

“No, no, 00D, we are well aware of your limitations. We don’t want you to beat them; we want you to join them.”

“Infiltrate them, how?”

“Well, first we need you to verify this plan is actually possible. Then, we want you to be identified as a potential candidate for their battery program.”

“And, just how do I do that?”

“By doing the Back Yamma, of course. And doing it poorly - which shouldn’t be a stretch for you! We want them to think you’re good enough to enter their program, yet bad enough that you need to join their spin class. The sort of person who dreams of competing in a 100km race, yet almost kills themself just going the distance. The sort of person who finishes in the top of the bottom third of the pack. You, 00D, to a T.”

Stay Tuned: 00D’s Adventures continue in Part 4: Mr Motivation